The St. George Almost-athon

High Hopes. Crazy, unrealistic, dangerous, naive, ambitious, pipe-dream hopes. I had to think before the race that I could do it. I had to think I could maintain a 17 minute mile the whole time. I had to think I wouldn't have anything hurt. I had to think I would get to mile 23 in 6 hours. I had to think it wasn't a crazy decision. I had to think I wouldn't give up. I had to think I had it in me. I had to think I would finish. I had to think it. I was totally delusional but I had to be to get there.

I have a lot of regret, sadness, and disappointment about running in St. George. I have to force myself to be proud of the 20 miles I did do, but it's not real. The disappointment is real. The pride is what I should feel. I have to admit that I made the right decision because I did stop before I completely/irreparably hurt myself but I don't feel good that I made the decision. Maybe it was because I had won the entry to St George and felt like I couldn't pass it up but also that I had an out because I wasn't prepared, I was thrust into it. My official time says that I finished and I have a medal because the crew that picked me up where I broke down at mile 20 tried to call me in as a pick up but they couldn't get a hold of the finish line crew. My medal has a chunk missing from it so I tell myself that it was meant to be. That I deserved that medal because I did most of it with just a little chunk missing. I don't feel that way though. I feel like a thief. I wish I had pushed myself till I couldn't possibly make one more step. That I had just sat down and rested a minute and then gone on to hobble across the finish 3 hours later. I didn't though and I will always regret that. Sometimes life is that way. Afternoon specials will tell you that trying is what matters. That is partly true. Making the attempt counts just like the thought does but actually finishing counts in a whole other way. That is the truth and it is also the truth that sometimes we disappoint ourselves. I can't get back that moment where I decided to get on in the car and be driven the rest of the way. It is a part of my life. I learned from it, mostly that I never want to feel that again, that goals mean something, and the best way to get something done is to make a goal and never waver from it. The pain, embarrassment and regret I'll feel if I don't reach it is enough to keep me going. Oh, and put your toilet paper stash in a plastic bag. Marathons always have a way of getting stuff soggy.

What happens in Vegas...will get you glutened.

I was in Vegas last weekend for a work conference. I was rather excited. I have been to Vegas before and thought it was great fun. This was my first trip since I have known I was gluten intolerant. Surprisingly it is not the same when you can't have wheat. Mostly it is the fact that food there seems to be designed to kill me.

At the hotel - Continental Breakfast = bagels, toast, cereal (of course no Rice Chex), a mystery pattie of egg, sausage and potato?, fruit and yogurt. Great. That means I get fruit and yogurt, which combined on an empty stomach send me to the bathroom almost as much as the bagel would.

At the convention center/casino - Buffet = $20 for a all you can eat surprise killer. Well, you can't see what they have to offer without paying, you can't trust someone hasn't used the same scoop for the macaroni salad as they did for the fruit salad, and you can't ask the waiter if there is gluten in every random thing because there are no waiters. It is a cross contamination mine field that I wasn't prepared to get into. Thus, as others went to the buffet, I wandered around the casino looking at the pretty lights. Eating on a regular basis can't be THAT important. Can it?

At the restaurant - Strip = Chain restaurants reign supreme. The problem with a chain restaurant being they are notoriously un-gluten free. Where are the little middle eastern places or slightly granola cafes that cater to my kind? We went to The Cheesecake Factory. They were very nice and all but the only thing they said I could eat was the Chicken Medallions. There are like 50 pages to their menu and all I could have was the Chicken Medallions though I couldn't have the balsamic vinaigrette on it. Why some balsamic vinegar has gluten, I will never know. Even the flourless Godiva Cheesecake was off the menu. It is flourless but it still has gluten. It's like KFC putting flour on the grilled chicken. Who is teaching these people to cook? Does food really taste so horrible if there is no gluten in it?

The 2 glorious things about Vegas though were 1. Trader Joe's and 2. In-in-Out Burger. I made the people I drove down with stop at both on our way out of town.

At Trader Joe's I got virtually everything they carry that is gluten free and not refrigerated. Though I was tempted to just try to bring back some crustless quiche. I don't think there is anything there that I can't get somewhere else but the stuff there is so cheap. I got 3 paper bags full of gluten free products from chips to pasta (like 7 bags) and it only cost me $50. That is a miracle in my book.

In-n-Out is a worry free cross contamination zone. The only thing is the buns and they heat them on a separate grill than the meat and no worries about fry oil that has had chicken strips in it because they don't sell chicken strips. It is great and their lettuce that they wrap the burgers in is so fresh and crisp and tasty and ohh, it was glorious. Just a little while longer and we will have our own In-n-Out in Utah. 3 in fact. If there were only a Trader Joe's in the works then life could be complete.

So, in the end I realise that though Sin City is not for me, well staying there over night isn't anyway, passing through during regular shopping hours around lunch might be ok.

Foraging for Food

Finding edible gluten free products that don't make you weep at the cost seems impossible. It doesn't really make sense to me since I can't imagine soy, millet or rice costs that much more than wheat. Heck, soy is subsidized by the government. Shouldn't that make it cheaper? Is the effort it takes to think outside of wheat what is doubling or tripling the cost of flour mix? It seems wrong. I keep looking for a farmer's market or natural food store to have bulk GF (Gluten Free) flour mix or even just products that I can afford on our income. The problem with these venues is they keep upping the ante. They can't just have gluten free products. They have to be organic and dairy free and nut free and vegitarian and vegan and every other possible thing free. STOP! I just want it to be gluten free. How hard can that be. The best I have found so far has not been a specialty store or even a very health conscious seeming store. It has been a local chain called Macey's. I was suprised how this 3 store mainstream grocery chain had such a great selection and even some items that were priced almost the same as regular food. It makes me happy. I actually could affort chocolate chip cookies. They felt like sand going down but they tasted all the same and that is all that mattered.

Today I am trying out a new farmer's market in the hopes of finding some local suppliers but I don't have high hopes. I would really love to be a locavore http://www.locavorenetwork.com but they are making it hard on me. Cross your fingers this will be the day.

6/17 Scheduled run 1.5 miles

I think I am going to have to run in the rain. I don't want to but I think I must. All this rain and cool weather makes me seriously doubt global warming is real. It certainly isn't real here. And what's with the rain in the desert anyway. I could have gotten this weather staying in Illinois.