Go to Hale

When I decided to run a Race a Month I had limited race choices in January. It seems the cold prohibits most racers from going out to run. I now think that is probably prudent.

Since I had never raced in the cold I was woefully unprepared for what racing in the cold means. I inocently thought that since this was the first race of many, I would play with it a bit. I attributed my defeat to Jack in the Turkey Trot to holding back at the start. I mean, really, it was only 5k. I should just sprint from the start and see how far I could get at full force and then slow it down if I needed. If I needed. I honestly thought that in my head.

This is what happens when an overweight, barely faster than a walk runner sprints at the start of a 5k in 26 degree weather.

1. You get tangled up in people because you are used to
starting with lots of room at the back of the pack with the strollers.

2. You quickly realize your maxed out sprint speed is, at best, the normal running speed of everyone else out there.

3. You get, maybe 200 feet before your lungs feel like you have somehow inhaled dry ice.

4. You end up 2 blocks from the start, walking slightly hunched over and making a snort/honk/death rattle noise that causes the 80 year old walker that just passed you to worry he needs to get a medic.

All in all, a lesson well learned. Jack beat me because I am lame, not because I didn't start fast enough.

I recovered from my 'experiment' and went on to use that 80 year old walker as my pacer. Don't knock it. He won 1st place in his age division. Who am I to say that being the only one in his age division should somehow lessen his victory. I also went on to glory by coming in before the kid who was walk/sprinting his heart out in desperation not to be passed by the snort/honk/death rattle lady he had passed 2 blocks from the start, the 2 girls who thought they were so much better than the kid who was walk/sprinting his heart out and made snarky comments to each other to prove it, and the lady who had never run a day in her adult life but looked fantastic and was just running the race on a lark because her husband signed her up.

I actually ended up with a personal record for a 5k race. It was mostly ... awesome.


The Hale Freezes Over 5k ended up being a really great time. The course was hard which made me feel even better at myself for having finished it, I enjoyed a morning watching Utahns think they were badass for making Hale/hell puns (My 'Go to Hale' t-shirt will be a fun reminder of that for years to come) and I was rewarded with a tasty orange wedge while Matt took care of that pesky finishers Pizza for me.